If you've been in recovery for months or even a few years, you may come to the point that you think you've got this recovery thing down, and there are no dangers left to avoid in terms of recovery. You've begun to work on repairing your relationships. Maybe you've got a great new job or mended ties with family and friends. You may even start to feel a bit of that serenity that people talk about in 12-step meetings. All of this can be a good thing, but it doesn't mean you're cured of your addiction.

Addiction is a disease. While you're taking care of life on life's terms, everything will change in an instant if you choose to pick up a drink or drug.

Dangers: Thinking and Behavior in Recovery

With more power over the decisions in your life comes more responsibility. There will come a time soon that your recovery is tested. Long-term recovery is an exciting accomplishment, but no one is immune to dangerous thinking or behavior. Backsliding can easily lead to a full-scale relapse if you're not paying attention to your sobriety program. Here are three dangers to watch out for:

1. Forgetting you are powerless. You gain confidence and begin to feel pride in your life. You may have a job or a relationship that makes you feel good about yourself, and choose to spend more time on that than your actual recovery. It's easy to get lost in things and people that make you feel good. But recovery isn't about "feeling good" - it's about doing good and continuing to work on yourself, your defects, and taking the time to make the twelve steps and integral part of your life.
2. Spending most or all of your time in a romantic relationship. Codependency is a common issue in recovery, and it can be quite painful. People in recovery are taught that they shouldn't enter into any new relationships in their first year of recovery. That's because early recovery is a time to concentrate on yourself and your behaviors. It's easy to "lose yourself" in a relationship to the point that the other person, and the feelings you have for them, is an addiction. Love can be intoxicating, and your self-esteem may start to depend on the other person. And just because you're told that you should wait "one year" to look for romance doesn't mean that you'll be ready for a relationship at one year sober. Many people aren't prepared to handle the emotions a relationship can bring, even after a year clean. 
3. Taking risks for the thrill of it. People with addictive personalities are often thrill-seekers at heart. They get a "little kick" out of breaking the rules and "getting away with it." You may start speeding when there are no police around. Or maybe you start stealing office supplies to take home. You might be married but love to flirt with the woman at the coffee shop every day. Or maybe you decide to skip 12-step meetings because you're tired of the commitment. All of these behaviors are dangerous because they're based on a feeling of entitlement. You don't think the rules apply to you, so you're going to bend them a bit. When you "get away" with the behavior for long enough, it can snowball. You may get in trouble with the police or your workplace. Relationships might suffer. Or maybe you'll feel too ashamed to show your face at a meeting because of the damage your behavior has caused. 

Humbling Yourself and Re-Engaging

Life is about choices. Mistakes happen when we make the wrong ones, but it's not the end of the world.  If you were perfect, you certainly wouldn't be in recovery in the first place. It can be humbling to admit you're struggling because of your own behavior, but sharing with others will help lessen the burden.

If you're feeling guilty, scared, or having trouble because of your behavior, the first thing to do is "own it." Tell your sponsor, share at a meeting, and listen to the feedback of others. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's time to hold on to your recovery as hard as possible. "Keep coming back", even when you feel bad. Recovery can bring you progress, but there's no perfection. 

Asking for help when you've fallen into a trap in recovery will help you save yourself. There's nothing you can face in recovery that somebody else hasn't lived through. So if you find yourself engaging in destructive behavior, it's okay to feel bad about it. It's okay to say you don't know the way out. Just remember that you're worth saving, and this too shall pass. You don't have to face anything alone.

Sober Living Options

Are you looking for sober living in the San Diego, California, area? We have a place for you to call home! Living with others in recovery offers fellowship and a way to be accountable to others. Our programs are an excellent launchpad for people new to recovery who need time to transition to daily life. We offer options for housing and aftercare. Call to hear more about how we can help you by calling 760-216-2077.

Denial can be one of the most distracting, dangerous and frustrating symptoms of addictive behavior. At any given time, a person who is using drugs may seek to minimize their use, or even deny actions that they have taken as a part of denial. Denial helps you put the "blinders on" and makes it hard to realize the harm your addiction has done to your life.

 

When you’re in recovery, denial still can lurk in the background of your mind. Learning to cope with it is an essential task as a person new to recovery.

 

What is Denial?

 

You may recognize it as the “little voice” that nags you with things that are simply inconsistent with reality. For example, a daily heroin user may be so in denial of their disease that they tell themselves, “At least I’m not high all the time.” Or a person addicted to marijuana may tell themselves “I can’t be addicted to weed because it’s not an addictive drug.”

When you're in denial, your brain is trying to protect you by refusing to accept the truth about something that's happening in your life. It doesn’t want you to change, but instead, to accept the poor circumstances you’re living in.

While denial can help you cope a bit in times of stress, overall, it causes problems stemming from drug or alcohol use to become worse. That little nagging voice that tells you “it’s not so bad” is the part of you that doesn’t want to change. But change you must, or die you will, as they say in recovery. It’s time for your old self to “die” and denial to take a back seat to recovery.

 

Confronting Denial

 

 

Denial can be powerful. It can go away and return without warning. Unfortunately, you can’t control when and where it comes from.

 

You can, however, talk back to that little voice and tell it the truth. For example, if your drug use “wasn’t so bad” then why did have to get up and get high first thing in the day? Why did you spend so much time using and trying to get more of your drug of choice?

 

Everyone in recovery has a story. You may have been arrested, overdosed, or lost friends and families in the process of your addiction. When that voice crops up to tell you it wasn’t bad, it’s time to talk back. When you find yourself thinking “My drug use wasn’t so bad,” think of all the times you wished you could stop using. How bad did you feel?

 

Think about the negative consequences you’ve experienced. Were they really “not so bad”? When you’re an addict, things can get very bad, very quickly. What was your bottom like? Very few people would go to the trouble of going to detox, getting clean, and going to 12-step meetings if their drug or alcohol use caused no problems.

 

Get to a Meeting

 

Whenever you find yourself in denial, talking to others can help bring you back to reality. When you listen to others speak about their experience, strength, and hope, it gives you a chance to relate to others in recovery. Everyone struggles with denial every once in a while. Remind yourself of the good things in recovery as well as the bad parts of addiction.

 

If you feel like using, call your sponsor or get to a meeting. Don’t let denial talk you into doing something that will hurt you.

 

Getting Help

 

Recovery is possible, no matter who you are or what your struggles are. Give yourself a chance. If you or somebody you love is struggling with drugs or alcohol, we can help. Call us at 760-216-2077.

 

Photo by Craig Adderley from Pexels