Recovering from addiction is a process that takes some time to adjust to. For many people, it means giving up friendships with people they used to drink or use drugs with and finding a new community that is supportive and caring. This community-building takes time, like many things in life. You may find that loneliness creeps up from time to time to rear its ugly head while you’re new to recovery. How can you cope with this feeling, and is it normal?

Yes, Loneliness Can Be Normal

Especially today, when we’re all facing the COVID-19 pandemic, loneliness is a powerful yet common/normal emotion. Leaving behind your old life will be hard at first, but you’ll soon have more friends. As a person in recovery, however, you have more options than you used to. Addiction treatment will help you build new friends who also can function as a supportive community.

A supportive community is a significant part of being sober. Once you’ve connected with others in recovery, you’re not alone anymore. You also have the benefit of other people caring about you and offering experience, strength, and hope when you need help and advice.

In recovery, you’ll need to surround yourself with people who understand where you’re coming from. You may feel lonely, even when other people surround you. Again, this is normal, but coping with it can be difficult.

Coping with Loneliness

Coping with loneliness means putting yourself out there and connecting with others. In early recovery, this can be hard, but you can do it. Here are some ways to start to change lonely feelings:

• Learn to be alone. Everyone has to spend some time alone in life, so it’s crucial to begin to enjoy your own company. Spend time nurturing yourself; take walks or ride your bike, read books, or watch a movie on Netflix. Be alone doesn’t have to be lonely.
• Rebuild relationships. You may have hurt family or friends during your addiction, but as you stay sober longer, you’ll be able to reconnect. Begin by only getting and staying in touch. (Don’t ask for things! Just have genuine conversations.) Ask your sponsor for help making amends to loved ones.
• Participate in group therapy. When you’re in treatment, you get out of it what you put into it. Really listen and try to connect with others in your groups. Offer to help others in need (as long as it is safe for your recovery.)
• Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel bad, sad, or lonely every once in a while. These feelings will pass. Work on bettering yourself today. If lonely feelings linger, or you start to feel depressed, reach out to your therapist or sponsor.
• Be a friend to others. If people aren’t calling, texting, or sending messages to YOU, then you can reach out to them. Send positive messages to others in your support group. Ask them how they are doing. Send pick-me-up gifs or videos. Giving support and friendship will help you also get support and friendship for yourself.
• Learn some new hobbies or interests. This is also something you can learn to do by yourself. Take an online class, buy an adult coloring book, or join a socially-distanced running group.

Living With Others in Sobriety

Recovery is precious and a gift you must continue to work on keeping. Living with others in sobriety can help you keep the focus on your needs, living life sober, and working toward your individual goals. At Sober Living San Diego, you’ll find a community of others who can offer not only a home but lasting relationships in recovery. Call us at 760-216-2077 to learn more about what we offer.

Everyone in recovery has triggers, which are small or large things that cause them to want to get high, drunk, or act poorly. These are things like situations or emotions (sometimes subtle) that caused you to use in the past. Because drinking or using drugs was your reaction in the past, when these situations happen to you as a newly sober person, you may feel triggered.

Understanding Triggers

Here’s how triggers work. Sally is a newly recovering alcoholic. She might feel a desire to drink when she passes the bar she used to go to every Friday night. She may be triggered on payday, when she used to spend part of her paycheck on a trip to the liquor store. When Sally gets in an argument with her spouse, her first reaction used to be to take a drink to “calm her nerves”.

Now that Sally is sober, she has to learn to understand and cope with her triggers.

 

3 Huge Triggers to Watch Out For

 

• Boredom: If you’re bored, you’re not moving forward. It’s time to find new hobbies and learn how to have fun in recovery. Start socializing with others in recovery. Go to sober events and explore meetings. When you find yourself getting bored, make it a point to start scheduling activities like going out with your friends or spending some time meditating.
• Loneliness: Loneliness is as dangerous as boredom, and it can creep up on you. When you’re new in recovery, it’s easy to feel lonely and overwhelmed. You are making new fsober riends by now, but it's still hard sometimes. Try to reach out to your sponsor and others in recovery if you’re feeling lonely. Go to a meeting when you’re feeling lonely. You may feel lonely, but you’re never alone. People want to help you stay clean and sober.
• Complacency: You’re skipping your aftercare meetings because you prefer to spend the morning in bed. You decide that instead of going to AA meetings every night, you’ll go every other night. You put your step work under a pile of magazines. When you bail on your obligations, you make yourself and recovery vulnerable to relapse. Do the work and keep the promises to yourself.

These are three big triggers for people who are new to recovery. Don’t let boredom, loneliness, or complacency grab ahold of you. Instead, share with others where you’re at in life. Go to as many 12-step meetings as you’re capable, and don’t pick up a drink or a drug. Take it a day at a time.

 

Looking for Sober Housing

Some people know they need some extra support when they have finished treatment. Are you looking for a supportive, therapeutic sober housing arrangement as you transition back to the community? We can help you learn about your options. Contact us at 1-760-216-2077 for more information.