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Getting clean and sober is a great start in a new way of life, but it’s not the only step to happiness. When you first get clean, most of your focus is on learning how to cope with the whole world without the use of substances. You’re often told to stay away from people, places, and things that present danger to your recovery. This may mean avoiding people you’ve known for years through drug and alcohol use. It’s a difficult thing to do, but you’re worth it! And as you adjust to life in recovery, you’ll find you make new friends with similar interested. But how does somebody go about making new friends in recovery?
One of the first lifestyle changes outside of staying sober that you’ll make is getting yourself plugged into 12-step meetings. Here is where you’ll find a sponsor to help you work the 12 steps as well as building a reliable support network.
Staying clean isn’t a job to be done alone. You need a robust support network to lean on when times get difficult.
Making friends at meetings is an excellent start to building this network. But friendships don’t exist in a vacuum. Going to meetings alone isn’t enough to build a relationship. You’ll need to collect phone numbers and make an effort to reach out to others.
How can you get to know others in recovery outside of 12-step meetings? It’s easier than it may sound. Start going out with the group after meetings, if your schedule allows. Find out about events that are hosted by 12-steppers in your area. You’ll see flyers for events such as sober dances, camping getaways, etc. at your local 12-step groups. Make an effort to attend these groups and try to make friends with people who are more than a year sober. They have experience, strength and hope to offer you.
If you have trouble talking to people or are shy, try to make sure that you get a “service position” at your favorite meeting. This is an obligation that you fulfill weekly, and it may be as simple as making coffee or putting out literature. You’ll get to meetings earlier when you have a service position and, even if you’re shy, people will start to learn your name when you show up early every week.
If you’re worried you won’t have enough support after treatment, 12-step meetings are essential, but they are not your only option. Consider aftercare therapy groups and sober housing, which will give you support from peers who understand what you’re going through.
Sober housing is a great way to make friendships with others and live in an environment of supportive peers. Learn more about your options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Denial can be one of the most distracting, dangerous and frustrating symptoms of addictive behavior. At any given time, a person who is using drugs may seek to minimize their use, or even deny actions that they have taken as a part of denial. Denial helps you put the "blinders on" and makes it hard to realize the harm your addiction has done to your life.
When you’re in recovery, denial still can lurk in the background of your mind. Learning to cope with it is an essential task as a person new to recovery.
You may recognize it as the “little voice” that nags you with things that are simply inconsistent with reality. For example, a daily heroin user may be so in denial of their disease that they tell themselves, “At least I’m not high all the time.” Or a person addicted to marijuana may tell themselves “I can’t be addicted to weed because it’s not an addictive drug.”
When you're in denial, your brain is trying to protect you by refusing to accept the truth about something that's happening in your life. It doesn’t want you to change, but instead, to accept the poor circumstances you’re living in.
While denial can help you cope a bit in times of stress, overall, it causes problems stemming from drug or alcohol use to become worse. That little nagging voice that tells you “it’s not so bad” is the part of you that doesn’t want to change. But change you must, or die you will, as they say in recovery. It’s time for your old self to “die” and denial to take a back seat to recovery.
Denial can be powerful. It can go away and return without warning. Unfortunately, you can’t control when and where it comes from.
You can, however, talk back to that little voice and tell it the truth. For example, if your drug use “wasn’t so bad” then why did have to get up and get high first thing in the day? Why did you spend so much time using and trying to get more of your drug of choice?
Everyone in recovery has a story. You may have been arrested, overdosed, or lost friends and families in the process of your addiction. When that voice crops up to tell you it wasn’t bad, it’s time to talk back. When you find yourself thinking “My drug use wasn’t so bad,” think of all the times you wished you could stop using. How bad did you feel?
Think about the negative consequences you’ve experienced. Were they really “not so bad”? When you’re an addict, things can get very bad, very quickly. What was your bottom like? Very few people would go to the trouble of going to detox, getting clean, and going to 12-step meetings if their drug or alcohol use caused no problems.
Whenever you find yourself in denial, talking to others can help bring you back to reality. When you listen to others speak about their experience, strength, and hope, it gives you a chance to relate to others in recovery. Everyone struggles with denial every once in a while. Remind yourself of the good things in recovery as well as the bad parts of addiction.
If you feel like using, call your sponsor or get to a meeting. Don’t let denial talk you into doing something that will hurt you.
Recovery is possible, no matter who you are or what your struggles are. Give yourself a chance. If you or somebody you love is struggling with drugs or alcohol, we can help. Call us at 760-216-2077.
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Active addiction can derail your life, no matter who you are or where you come from. Getting clean and sober is a welcome relief to anyone who has struggled with the extreme ups and downs of a substance use disorder. For most people, however, the problems of addiction aren’t left behind. As the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Just because you’ve removed the substance abuse from your life doesn’t mean that you’re completely healed and done with recovery. Much work will remain when you leave your treatment center, and it’s up to you to get that work done.
Above all else, your recovery must come first when you’ve graduated from treatment. This means that as soon as you leave treatment, it’s up to you to create a support network. This could mean starting an aftercare program, seeing a therapist, or going to groups for your substance use disorder.
You will also need to build support from the 12-step meetings you go to. Finding a sponsor that you like and trust is an important step that you hopefully completed while in treatment. Once out, this person can be a lifeline to meetings, events, and coping tools you need when you first get clean and sober. If you don’t feel comfortable with your sponsor at first, give it some time. There’s nothing wrong with getting a new sponsor if the one you initially chose isn’t a perfect fit.
Not everyone is ready to go to their old home when they get sober. Some people just feel safer around others in recovery, and others may not want to go home to a household full of triggers where people drink and use drugs.
It’s time for you to do what helps YOU stay sober. If this means taking time to transition to your new life, then consider a sober housing situation. Sober housing is a great way to test your wings in recovery but still have discipline and accountability to others who understand what you’re going through.
If you’re interested in your sober living options, you’re in the right place. We also have aftercare programs to help you if you need them. Take the time to relax and settle down in a structured environment that still makes time for fun. Our sober living environment was built to give you a solid foundation as well as teaching you how to enjoy life in your newfound recovery. Give us a call to learn more about your options at 760-216-2077.
Do you have an attitude of gratitude? Often this is a phrase that’s repeated in 12-step meetings, but it’s not always clear what it means.
So let’s look at it this way: When you were using drug and alcohol, what were you grateful for?
Sometimes it meant getting enough of your drug or alcohol to get by for the day; I’m betting. But even when you were using you were human. No matter what your circumstances were, you probably had your fair share of fears, such as getting arrested when buying drugs or going to a sketchy neighborhood at night. When your worries didn’t come true, you breathed a little sigh of relief. You probably even momentarily experienced gratitude when the bad thing you feared didn’t take place.
That’s what gratitude feels like. When you're using, it goes away when you've gotten what you want. But when you’re clean, you get to have more to be grateful for, and that’s a blessing.
You may think gratitude also has something to do with what you have (own) or don’t have (don’t own). But this isn’t true at all. Both poor and rich people experience gratitude in the same way, and often it comes in the form of things you can’t buy. When you ask somebody what they are grateful for, they may tell you it’s their new daughter or their health. For example, you may be a billionaire, but you can’t buy the cure to cancer. The same goes true for peace of mind and sobriety. There are a lot of things that money can’t buy, and that’s true for happiness, health, abilities, and love. The time you can spend with others is something a lot of people become grateful for once they are clean.
Being grateful for material things has a place in recovery, too. For example, maybe you had trouble affording stuff like a nice dinner out or a new car when you were using. When you can afford something special for yourself or others, it feels good.
Let’s face it; a lot of people get clean and aren’t automatically grateful, especially when uncomfortable symptoms of withdrawal or thoughts of troubles invade their life. If you’re feeling depressed, fearful, or alone, it’s hard to be grateful.
Most people in recovery have to re-discover gratitude, and that’s okay.
Start by keeping a gratitude list. Every day, pick five things you are grateful for and try to mention something different each day. If the best thing about your day was a peach cobbler, then list it! If the best things about your day was some inspirational sharing at a 12-step meeting, write that down. Less anxiety, meals, a kind word from a stranger, a cheap Uber fare, a new pair of jeans, and a day off from work are a few you would find among my list of things I’m grateful for.
At the end of a week, you’ll find you have 35 things you’re grateful! If you realize your attitude has become one of gratitude, it’s working! Some people choose to keep a gratitude list year-round so they can reflect on the ways they’ve grown.
Are you looking for more information on sober living, aftercare or other recovery services? We can be of help! Contact us at 1-760-216-2077 to learn what your options are.
Stigma is one thing that keeps many people with a substance use disorder from seeking out the help they need. If you used “harder” drugs like cocaine, Oxy or heroin, then you may worry what people will think.
After all, there are a lot of negative images in the media that are associated with these drugs. And you, yourself, know that addiction is not fun and can lead you to do things that make you ashamed.
It can be very humbling to tell a loved one about your addiction, but it can be even harder to say to a stranger. Stigma, however, is something that all people in recovery face one time or another. Knowing how to confront stigma is an integral part of your long-term recovery.
The addiction-related stigma that you may face in recovery isn’t always just due to the drugs. You may have crimes like DUI’s or theft in your past. You may not have held a legitimate job for a while. You probably will have to explain these things to your employer, which means being prepared to be honest and open about your recovery and how you have changed.
This will be easier to do as time goes on and you've been clean longer. The best you can do it prove to others that you're a changed man, and explain to people, humbly, that you're in recovery to continue to grow and change.
Addiction has been identified as a disease that changes the brain, altering both how it works and how a person feels and behaves. The good news is that there is a lot of information on this online (the SAMHSA website is a good start) that you can print out for family, friends, and employers.
Society is slowly but surely understanding that addiction is a disease and that specifically, the opioid epidemic has made an enormous impact on people’s lives from every walk of life. Recovery is possible, but a difficult journey at times.
You’ve come a long way if you’re clean today. You haven’t had to lie, cheat, steal or go broke by using your drug of choice. Just for today, you’re clean. And your clean time, whatever it is, is a valuable asset in your life.
Just like you have support, others in recovery need your assistance to fight addiction to. Help others out when they are feeling anxious or stressed. Take time to get to know new people, and let them know what has helped you in your life.
As you stay clean longer, you’ll learn more about yourself and get more comfortable telling your story. You’re an essential part of the recovery movement, and your experiences will help others on a similar journey.
Sometimes it's easier to transition to the outside learn and gain confidence in recovery by living in a sober living home. In the presence of peers, you can focus on yourself and learn how to cope with day to day stresses. Please give us a call at 760-216-2077 to learn more about your options.
Many people in recovery from substance abuse disorders start discussing goals after they’ve been sober for a few months. The future is a little brighter, and there is more time to focus on what you want to do with your life. During active addiction, personal goals have gotten off track, sometimes completely. The ability to have goals is a good sign that your recovery is on track.
This means sitting down and doing a bit of homework to help you get familiar with goal setting.
Keep your goal list in your wallet or on your phone in case you need a reminder of what you’re working towards.
Having this list is just the beginning of a recovery journey. Knowing what want you want in life is an essential driving force for change.
Sometimes you’ll have to change your goals due to unforeseen circumstances. That’s okay, too. Life changes and we often have to adapt to that.
Achieving the goals feels great. Celebrate your accomplishments, big and small. And when you meet a goal, it’s time to set a new one.
Sober living can help you work towards goals while making your home in a caring, safe environment around other people in recovery. Many people choose to transition from treatment to “the outside” by taking advantage of sober living homes.
Learn more about your options for sober housing by calling 760-216-2077.
For a myriad of reasons, the holidays can be a difficult time for people in recovery. Not only are there a lot of feelings that come up during this time of year, but there are also some temptations to cope with if you're invited to a get-together. Parties with alcohol or marijuana use are now common, and there may be some family relations left to repair. How is a sober person supposed to cope with all of the challenges?
Millions of people stay sober during the holidays. One of the best ways to cope with all of the drama, feelings, and stress is to have a plan. You should share it with others and write it down. Keep it with you on the most stressful days so you can refer back to it:
Staying clean and sober during the holidays can be stressful for the first few years, but remember that if you’re recently clean, you have choices now. Don’t be afraid to choose to leave situations that make you feel uncomfortable. You also have the choice to reach out to your support network.
One thing that helps people in recovery stay on track is living with others who support their recovery. Sometimes that means you're better off living in sober housing until life is more stable. Being in a community of people working on themselves can help inspire you and support you as you chart a new path. Want to learn more about your options? Call us at 760-216-2077.
When you’ve been in recovery for a while, you find some stability and serenity that you didn’t have before. But sometimes this serenity is mistaken for boredom, which can be a big trigger for some people to use.
Once you’ve settled down into your recovery and have stayed clean for a good amount of time, what else is there to do besides work your steps, go to meetings, and call your sponsor? Things aren’t as dramatic as they once were when you were new. But there is still plenty of growth to work on, depending on your individual needs and tastes. You have a choice what to do to expand your horizons as a clean and sober person.
Here are a few suggestions to help you on your way:
Being clean is just a stepping stone to a new way of life. You have a lot of time to explore your world and find new ways to enjoy it. Don’t be too timid about finding new hobbies – and don’t neglect your 12-step meetings. Every day is a chance for something new.
Sober Living
Sober living is a great next step once you’ve completed a treatment program. Are you interested in living among your peers in a safe, fun environment as a part of your recovery program? Get in touch and learn about your options. You can call us at 760-216-2077.
Staying positive in recovery can seem like a battle, at least when you first get clean and begin to sift through your emotions. Negative self-talk can be harmful to you and hinder your progress in sobriety. Learning to become more positive will help you achieve more of your goals, build your self-esteem, and stay on track in your new way of life.
What is Negative Self-Talk?
Let’s face it, we all have an internal voice that tells us things about ourselves, whether they are true or not. Many of these things are negative, and nowhere close to reality. For example, some people call themselves stupid over the tiniest thing, like dropping a plate or missing a bus. Mistakes can sometimes seem like astronomical problems when your internal voice is so negative. When we do this, it’s called “negative self-talk”. It can be a huge issue for those in recovery.
These negative self-beliefs can be dangerous and cause failure because you’re continually looking at the negative, and are also telling yourself that you are meant to fail.
What does negative talk sound like? Here are a few things people tell themselves that can get in the way of recovery:
Negative self-talk can prevent you from trying new things because you feel shame about yourself. And it’s not true, anyway! Many of these thoughts come from a place of hurt or shame in your childhood and have been reinforced throughout the years. But they’re self-defeating at best and cause self-hatred at worst. How can you be good at something if you give up quickly? How can you learn to handle things if you give up before you try?
Changing Your Self-Talk
Changing your self-talk won’t take place overnight, but you can get started today with more positive feelings. One way to help yourself feel better is to write out some affirmations for yourself and practice them every day. For example, when you find your self-talk keeps calling you stupid, start your day with a statement that changes the dialogue. “I am learning new things every day, and I am feeling smarter than ever before” is a great one to try. “I’m a good person, and I do good things for others” is a good answer to when you’re feeling “no good”.
Write down all of the negative talks you can think of on a piece of paper, and make new affirmations on index cards so that you can scroll through and read them to yourself every morning.
Talk to others such as your peers or therapist to learn other ways to banish negative self-talk. As you spend more time in recovery, you’ll find more examples of being the person you want to be, rather than the person your disease says you are. Hold on to your moments of accomplishment and give yourself credit.
Life After Treatment
Your journey in recovery doesn’t end once you have finished inpatient treatment. A sober living situation, aftercare plan and other activities can help you stay on course as you adjust to life after treatment. Want to learn more about your options? Please give us a call at 760-216-2077.
When you first get clean and sober, there’s a lot on your mind. Recovery can be both exciting and scary, especially when you don’t know what your next steps will be. Soon, however, you learn coping skills and make friends. Life starts looking up as you begin to confront your challenges head-on and still stay sober. Some days are better than others, however, and sometimes it’s hard to focus on the positive.
Not all of us are born with a sunny disposition, and it sometimes takes a genuine effort to keep a positive attitude or see the "good side" of things.
What kinds of things can you do to change your mood on a bad day or prevent you from living in a negative rut?
Here are five great ways to help you stay positive in recovery:
Staying positive is an essential aspect of recovery, but sometimes things happen that cause us emotional strife. Don’t forget your necessary tools – if you’re down, pick up the phone, get to a meeting, or find a sober friend to spend time with. There are plenty of people who want to help you stay clean and sober, and they do genuinely care about your welfare.
Are you looking for more information on living in a safe, supportive, sober environment? Do you want to know more about aftercare programs to help you adapt to the “real world” once you have finished inpatient treatment? Give us a call. We can help you find out more about your options. Just get in touch at 760-216-2077
