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Today, work or how you make a living is one of the things American culture values. Men especially are told that they are their work, while women try to balance their ambition with their family goals. Any work problems and goals may cause self-esteem issues for people who are ambitious. Addiction to work is common among people in recovery as well as others who are not.
In recovery, there is sometimes a complicated relationship with work. If you’re still in a career you love, you may feel you have to make up for time lost to addiction. Other people in recovery choose to start new jobs or careers. Either way, there is often a feeling of “not being good enough” when a person in recovery returns to the workplace. This is one gateway to addiction to work.
Overworking or working more than forty hours a week on a regular basis can cause you problems in your recovery. You need to remember to focus on yourself and working your program.
As a person in recovery, a work/life balance is important. Without your sobriety, you won’t be able to keep a job or excel in your career for long, anyway. In early recovery, you will still be working on personal issues and relationships. Working too much or all the time can harm your progress immensely and keep your focus away from your recovery, which can lead to relapse.
Working an assigned set of hours and keeping to those hours only can be the solution to balance in some industries such as hospitality. However, some people who work in office settings allow themselves to be tethered to their jobs through devices, checking email on their days off or working every day of the week.
Working more than 40 hours a week is the standard because more hours are simply unhealthy for your body. Your mind and spirit also need a break to spend time nurturing your relationships, going to 12-step meetings, and getting the proper amount of sleep.
Working too much can be an addiction. If you’re using work to distract yourself from your friends, family, and home life, that’s a problem. Avoiding something doesn’t make it go away, and overworking yourself can cause you a lot of stress. You may work so much you forget to eat, sleep or hydrate properly. You may find yourself canceling important events like watching your kid at a play or going to a family get together. Putting your work before your recovery can cause you problems.
All of the same behaviors – such as lying, manipulating, and avoiding life on life’s terms can start to emerge when you’re using work as an escape from life. You may make excuses to work when you don't need to. You may sacrifice relationships or responsibilities to spend more time working.
Working like this isolates you. You may forget some of your recovery basics or feel triggered to use your drug of choice because work stresses you out.
Addiction to work can be serious, but it is treatable just like any addiction. First, admit you're powerless. Ask for help from somebody you trust in recovery.
Staying focused on recovery can help you keep a healthy work-life balance. If you’re already “in too deep” you may need help moderating the amount of time you work and sticking to a structured schedule. Addiction to work can be stopped in its tracks if you commit to putting your recovery first in your life again.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to others if you find yourself working as an escape. It’s not uncommon for people in recovery to pick up a new addiction.
Just recognize it for what it is, and reach out to your sponsor and others who can help you reclaim a balance on your work versus home life. You’re powerless over your addiction, but you’re responsible for your recovery. It’s okay to ask for help reclaiming your free time if your work life is getting out of hand.
Many people in early recovery want a healthy transition when they’re going back to the “real world”. Sober living homes offer a place of safety and support. Sober Living San Diego offers structure, security and sobriety tools for residents making their way through their recovery journey. Learn more about what we offer at 760-216-2077.
Letting go is one topic that most people who live with an addiction disorder have a problem with. In recovery, you’re only responsible for our actions and reactions. That doesn’t stop people from “getting in their head” and obsessing about situations, people, and problems that they can’t fix. Letting go is hard. Whether it’s a situation in the past that haunts you or a relationship that’s gone wrong, it can be painful and difficult to cope with.
There are, however, a few exercises to try.
Have you heard of a “letting go box”? The idea behind it is simple. Find a wood box or jewelry box when you’re out and about. It should be small and attractive to you, but large enough that it can hold small pieces of paper.
You can also buy a plain wood box decorate it yourself, or if you have children, get them to paint it for you. The important part is that the box calls to you or inspires you in some way. This box will house your problems and issues and take care of them for you during the day.
When you’re having trouble letting go of something that’s bothering you, it’s time to turn it over to your box. Write down what’s troubling you on a piece of paper. Think about the issue and all the emotions related to it. Let yourself feel them. Take the piece of paper, fold it in half, and turn it over to the box.
If you have a higher power, you can also call this box “the God box” – and take time to say a little prayer about the issue. Then fold it and put it away in your box. Think of the box as an armory that protects the things you’ve turned over to it until you’re ready to cope with them again.
If the issue comes back again, remember that it’s inside the box. For example, if your boss has been driving you crazy by micromanaging you, turn it over and let it go. Go to sleep. The next day, if he does something to annoy you again, remember it’s vaulted in that box. You can turn it over again when you get home. Just do a good job and focus on yourself today.
Instead of brooding about the issue, go home and take the paper out of the box. Think about it, allow yourself a maximum of five minutes to think about it, and physically turn it back over to your box again.
You can turn over things as many times as you want. The act of turning things over, even if they’re just locked in a special box, can be powerful. You may find yourself more able to concentrate on things during the day.
Are you interested in a safe, comfortable living situation once you’re out of treatment and back on your feet? Sober homes offer you a unique chance to learn to live life on life’s terms. Live in a place focused on recovery while doing aftercare, getting a job, or planning your next steps in life. Call us to learn more about your option at 760-216-2077.
Many people in recovery make a lot of changes in what seems a short time. Sometimes, you may feel more emotional or stressed. This can affect the people around you who love you. As time goes on, you learn new coping skills. While this all happens, your family and other loved ones may
Helping people who love you adapt to your recovery isn’t a requirement, but they do need their own recovery plan as you begin to grow and change. Your family may walk on eggshells around you because they’re not sure what to expect. Or they may make assumptions about your behavior because they’re not used to trusting you. After a while, this can cause conflict or create anger or resentment.
One of the first ways to help loved ones learn more about addiction and recovery is by having them participate in your therapy. Most treatment centers offer family therapy. Sometimes it’s more helpful for certain family members, such as your parents, to seek therapy for themselves. Addiction takes whole families prisoners.
If you have kids, therapy one-on-one can help them work through difficult emotions. Ask your own recovery teams for referrals if there are children involved.
You’ve been through a lot, but your family has too. If you’re not sure of a good place to go for therapy, ask your treatment center or call your local mental health department.
Al-Anon and other 12-step centered groups can help families cope with the effects of your addiction. For many family members, there are a lot of wounds from your drug and alcohol use. You can’t fix them, but you can help them find a group.
If family members are hesitant to go in-person to a group, there are many addiction-related message boards online that they can check out, too.
Many loved ones feel stressed as they watch your recovery from a safe distance. They may be worried about getting their hopes up. Or they simply may worry about you.
It’s hard for family members to let go. But many of them may feel empowered by books on addiction and recovery.
Self-care is also something that can help family members learn to let of stress and take care of themselves. Go with them for a long walk or a lazy day at the beach. Suggest ways to have fun together.
You may want to take it slow when you’re exiting treatment. After all, your focus on recovery is paramount. Learning to work your recovery program is important. Sober living is a good option for people who need to have a transition period before returning home to their family situation or their own living quarters. You’ll have a safe, comfortable space that you share with people who also are focused on recovery.
Learn more about your sober living options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
When you were using substances, how often did you do something that was dangerous? Did you get a little thrill out of breaking the laws, such as speeding or committing petty theft? Danger can give you a little rush, but it's usually behavior that will also stunt your growth. For many people who get clean and sober, leaving these aspects of their old life is almost as difficult as quitting using drugs and alcohol. This activity, called thrill-seeking, often signals that a person may be addicted to dangers as well as substances. Does this sound like you?
Are there certain behaviors you’re not ready to give up, even now that you’re sober? Living a life in recovery means that you’re going to have to give up negative behavior as well as alcohol or drug use.
Many people in recovery get clean and sober but keep “dirty” behaviors. They may flout the laws and drive aggressively. Or they may cheat on their taxes or even pocket your change if you ask them to get you a sandwich. Anything that gives you a little "rush" and could put you or somebody else in harm's way can be considered dangerous -- even surfing in dangerous conditions.
Thrill-seeking, dangerous behavior can be addictive for the same reasons that drugs and alcohol can. When you’re doing something dangerous, the reward center of your brain will go off as your body initiates fight-or-flight mode. This mode activates adrenaline, pumping your body with hormones and giving you a feeling of electricity, even if it’s just for a few moments.
Thrill-seeking behavior is considered a trigger for relapse. For one thing, “getting over” on somebody or committing minor crimes is still illegal. Eventually, you’ll get caught or do something that causes you to feel guilt or shame.
Here are some examples of thrill-seeking behaviors:
It may seem difficult to give up your thrill-seeking ways, but it’s an important part of recovery. You don’t do drugs anymore, and you know right from wrong. A little thrill here and there can add up to a lot of bad feelings or even harm your relationships in recovery.
Just like giving up drugs or alcohol, you will need to work your recovery program to help you establish new patterns.
If you’re not sure how to go about changing your behavior, speak to somebody in your recovery network, your sponsor or your therapist. The first step to recovery is admitting you can’t do it by yourself.
You’ll feel better in the long run if you are able to quit doing things that harm yourself or others.
In sober living, you’re accountable to others in the same household, who hold the same value that you’re trying to live. Live in a safe, positive environment while you get your feet on the ground in recovery. Contact us at 760-216-2077 to learn more about how we can help.
Once you’ve been in sobriety a while, life becomes more interesting. When you were drinking and drugging, you probably had goals that you thought about. But as addiction takes over, goals and relationships go by the wayside. It’s hard to remember your sense of purpose when you’re using drugs or alcohol. But once you’re sober, you’re probably already thinking of the new possibilities in life. Setting goals is a part of your new life. Using to-do lists can help you stay organized on a daily basis.
Many planners and organizers online offer to-do list pages. There are many ways that people in recovery learn to chart their progress and set goals. A list of things you want to accomplish every day can help you set aside specific times to work on things.
How many goals do you have right now? Pick up to five to start out with. List them on a piece of paper. For each of your goals, there are steps to achievement. This is how you can begin to pursue them.
For example, if you want to go back to college next year, what are the steps that you would need to take? Break it down into easy steps, such as:
For each of these goals, you can write a new to-do list to accomplish it. Once you’ve done this, you can break each goal into small tasks that move you forward.
Many people who have completed treatment feel like they need more time to focus on their recovery. Sober housing, in a safe and serene environment, can help you learn more about what you want out of recovery. Learn more about how sober housing can help you learn more about life in recovery by calling us at 760-216-2077.
The holidays can be stressful for people in and out of recovery. Getting together with family can sometimes cause anxiety for newly sober people. There are a lot of potential triggers to deal with if it’s your first holiday in recovery. You may be seeing family or missing family. There will always be feelings to cope with.
Staying sober during the holidays is essential. You’re not alone this holiday season. Reach out and go to meetings if you’re feeling lonely, angry, or scared. Many people have a tough time during the holiday months. You can get through it with the help of your support network and peers in recovery.
Many people discover that they're not ready to confront the world alone after just thirty to sixty days of treatment. Are you interested in learning more about a safe, fun sober living environment? We offer a haven for the transition to a new life full of hope, progress, and camaraderie. Learn more about how a sober home can help you continue your journey in recovery by calling us at 760-216-2077.
It’s that time of year again. The holiday season in America can bring out some of the best and worst emotions in everyone. Recovering people and their families are often a complicated dynamic. There are people in many families that are in recovery. Families can and DO recover. But this may not be the case in your situation. How you choose to spend your holiday season, and who you spend it with, is 100% your decision.
Holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, love, and acceptance. That’s what the countless tv commercials and shows seem to advertise. But don’t be fooled or feel bad if your personal situation looks nothing like what you see portrayed in the media. There’s no perfect family out there, and many people have circumstances that make the holiday season difficult to experience or enjoy.
Family is “supposed” to look a certain way if you pay attention to marketing messages. Those messages are just meant to sell things and rarely even reflect what everyday people look like and live. Your family is never going to be perfect, and it’s your choice how you react to that or choose to conduct your relationships.
You don’t have to spend time with people who have caused (or WILL cause) pain. There may be family members uncomfortable with you, too, if there is baggage from your addiction. Accept where you are at and focus on what you CAN do to enjoy yourself this holiday without the use of alcohol or drugs.
If your situation this holiday season is less than ideal, you have the power to change the way you celebrate it. This may mean making changes in who and where you celebrate this season.
If you want to avoid a hard-drinking family, you can always plan to have a separate dinner that’s more intimate with your parents and others who understand your struggles. If your family itself is toxic, find out about 12-step meetings and other events where sober people are gathering.
If you choose to spend your time with your family but worry about triggers or stressors, ask your sponsor to help you create an “escape” plan. Make sure that part of this plan includes a ride home or to a meeting. Even better, make your escape plans ahead of time and commit to helping out at the 12-step meeting or event when you get there.
Be gentle with yourself if you experience triggers, anxiety, or depression when you’re celebrating. Please remember that you’re not alone. Reach out to other people in your network if you need help. Text people, go to meetings, and try to relax when you can.
Staying sober is the most important goal in recovery. People who stay sober do it a day at a time. That means just for today, no matter what, you're not picking up a drink or a drug.
Remember that getting drunk or high just causes you more problems and fixes nothing. Give yourself a chance and commit to stay sober no matter what this holiday season. Use the tools that have kept you sober, and reach out to others in recovery if you’re struggling.
Sober housing is an excellent way for people new to sobriety to learn to live life on life’s terms. Learn more about your options available in the San Diego area. In sober housing, you will meet people who are sober, working their 12-step programs, and rebuilding their lives in recovery. To learn more about what our programs offer, call us at 760-216-2077.
Stress is a fact of life for so many people nowadays. It’s not limited to those in recovery. However, this time of year is especially stressful for people new to recovery and old-timers alike. How can you use stress in a way that helps you?
Stress happens, but avoiding it may seem impossible when you’re in its grip. For many people, feeling stressed and anxious can be a trigger for drinking or drugging. Stress is no reason to get high, but may not know what to do with an urgent-seeming emotion, or maybe you feel anxiety take over and have trouble taking action. Luckily there are ways to reduce the impact of stress in your life.
While you can’t eliminate stress from your life in recovery, there are ways that you can minimize it. For example, if you know that you have to do something that makes you feel stressed out, you can make plans for the aftermath.
For example, maybe you have a large family gathering that you’re planning to attend, and you’re not sure how you’ll cope with any questions. Talking to your sponsor and preparing your answers to challenging conversations can help you feel prepared. If your Aunt Sally wants to ask you about your recovery in front of people you’re not comfortable with, you can go ahead and tell her you’d love to catch up with her later. Or maybe you’re worried somebody will bring you a drink. If so, prepare to have a way of saying “no” that you’re comfortable.
Identifying your triggers and learning ways to react that are healthy is part of recovery. Nobody is perfect, and that’s true about others in your life, too. Learn to respond with empathy and kindness when possible, but don’t go out of your way to make others happy if something makes you feel uncomfortable.
Self-care is a way that you can handle the stress that life throws at you. There’s no way to eliminate most types of stress that people experience, so coping skills are needed to help you get through your tough times. Many people in recovery use self-care to feel a little better.
Meditation, exercise, relaxation exercises, and even doing something as simple as reading or watching a television program all count as self-care. Take some time for yourself and do something that makes you feel better or re-rejuvenated. There are many types of self-care available, so choose what works for you and leave the rest.
Going to a 12-step meeting or calling your sponsor are essential types of self-care in recovery.
Many people new to recovery benefit from living in a sober housing situation. In sober living, there are rules as well as recovery adventures. You’re surrounded by people who are sober, working their 12-step programs, and rebuilding their lives in recovery. To learn more about what our programs offer, call us at 760-216-2077.
Do you have a lot of expectations in life? Many people who struggle with addiction come up with a great list of goals they expect to reach in recovery. Some of these goals may be tangible and easy to work on and achieve. For example, learning to wake up at six in the morning is an immediate goal that you might make so you can keep on schedule. But another goal you have, such as re-establishing a relationship with a family member, may take time to achieve. For some people, these bridges are burned and won't happen any time soon. It may be hard to accept that your action doesn’t have an immediate payout. But it’s merely a fact of life – many things take time to achieve.
You didn’t become addicted in one day. Do you really believe that you can change your whole life in one day? That’s a huge expectation that you’ve placed on yourself. It’s time to learn how to give yourself a break.
In recovery, you’re probably learning a lot about acceptance. Accepting that your life is what it is right now. You can help you learn to slow down and take one day at a time.
When you were a kid, you probably wanted Santa and all of your relatives to give you something you thought was really cool. But for whatever reason, not one person got you that toy. Maybe you got some socks and smaller, less fancy toys. You probably accepted those gifts, anyway, if you were a polite kid. After all, a gift is a gift.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re settling for something less than you want. It means you’re accepting what the world has to give. This is something you can do just for the present. Acceptance can give you a lot of peace.
Acceptance is a way to a more peaceful way of life. After a time, it will be easier to realize that you’ve done what you can, and that’s all you can do. The only thing you have control over is your actions and reactions. However, you can become more mindful of how your personal actions can affect others and treat people with kindness.
Working on goals that you’re not sure that you will achieve requires a leap of faith. But everyone in life has failures and successes. That’s how we learn and grow. In recovery, you’ll learn to accept that life isn’t perfect, and things won’t always go in your favor. But putting in the work to change yourself is still worth it because it’s bettering you. Facing challenges, living your life, and taking action help you grow.
You can’t force your mother to forgive you or your children to want to spend time with you if your relationship is damaged. Getting clean or sober for a certain amount of time doesn’t make you a perfect person. Healing takes time. Now it’s time to work on yourself and take action to become a better person. If you’re not sure what will help you achieve your goals, ask your sponsor or others who have been in similar situations.
Goals can be daunting if you try to fix them all at once. Taking life a day at a time – with daily action towards your goals – will help you keep your focus. Recovery is a journey, not a destination.
Working the steps and taking suggestions will help you make changes in your life. You’ll begin to heal your own issues, and become a better person.
Everyone in recovery has dreams and goals, but accepting your life as it is, and letting go of expectations can help you grow and live a more peaceful life. You deserve peace! So give yourself a chance and take it a day at a time.
After treatment, transitioning to the “real world” can be stressful. Many people find that sober housing offers them the support and structure they need to stay focused on their recovery. Learn more about our inspiring living program and joining our community by calling us at 760-216-2077.
As a person of the modern age, you probably have a social networking account. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are all used by hundreds of millions of people a day. No one is going to ask you to withdraw from the online world just because you’re sober. However, using social media wisely is something that you need to be mindful of while you’re in recovery.
Many people want to announce their lives to the world as soon as they’re in recovery. How do you approach social networking as a newly sober person?
Not all social networks are “anonymous.” Consider ditching old accounts and creating new ones. Unfortunately, using an account with your first and last name may be something to consider.
You may want to create a new account if your old partying friends are a part of your online network. You may have to de-friend some people who are triggers for you to go back to your old lifestyle.
Do you want future employers to see you talk about your life in recovery from addiction? Maybe you want to start a “recovery only” account for yourself. It’s okay to keep work and recovery separate and disclose your addiction to only the people you choose.
One of the most troublesome behaviors in the online world is “stalking” old friends or relationships. This is a slippery slope for a person in recovery.
While you’re at it, keeping up or following people who glorify drug and alcohol use is a big warning that you’re heading into relapse mode.
Choose your online friends wisely, and stick to people who post in ways that touch and uplift you. There is plenty of inspiration online, including from your favorite celebrities in recovery from addiction. There are plenty of Twitter accounts and Facebook pages dedicated to recovery, as well. Also, ask people from your support groups to connect on social media.
There’s nothing better than having people you know in real life to turn to, as well. Shoring up your support network is a great way to make new friends. Sober living homes offer discipline, aftercare, and plenty of ways to participate in living life to its fullest in recovery. Learn more about your housing options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
