760-216-2077
When you first start your journey in recovery, you live much of your life "in the moment." Emotions and working on your triggers can keep you pretty busy. After all, you may feel like there are a lot of things you need to do and not do to stay sober. You probably gave up a lot of old using friends and avoided places that remind you of things you did while in the grip of addiction. But you might overlook something that can change your life in recovery, finding a passion to look forward to.
Not all of your journey recovery is hard work or dredging through deep emotions. There will also be time for you to do something that you enjoy.
What if you have no idea what you enjoy, you might wonder. You thought you enjoyed getting drunk or high, but that ended up being your downfall. So you might worry that you can’t find a healthy pastime or hobby to enjoy.
The good news is that if you live in California, there is a lot of space to explore outdoor and indoor activities. There are gyms (indoor and outdoor), scooters, bicycle paths, surfing, skateboarding, movie theaters, and so much more. Jumping into something new can be scary! If you’re not ready to explore new outdoor hobbies, there are also plenty of solitary things you can do. (But please, do not use this as an excuse to isolate. Knitting, yoga, meditation, and reading a book are also great pastimes that can help you spend your day in relaxation.
There are also free online classes and movies to explore if your budget is too tight.
The idea is to challenge yourself to find things you like! You deserve to be happy and have fun as a sober person! Eventually, you’ll find things that you enjoy enough to call a passion – and you may even have more than one passion that you’re exploring.
Finding a passion can give you a sense of purpose in life.
A sober living home is a great place for you to spread your wings after you’ve finished a treatment program. You’ll be among kindred spirits who can help you explore the world or just lend an ear when you need it. Learn more about life in a sober home by calling 760-216-2077.
Once you're in recovery, it’s time to start keeping some healthy habits. The top one will be doing your best to stay substance-free one day at a time. Practices like going to your 12 step meetings or therapy appointments are some of the more obvious ways to help you stay sober. There are other ones, too, to help you along the way.
Life can sometimes be challenging, but it’s worth it. You deserve to enjoy your time, but don’t forget the basics. If you’re ever feeling tempted to use drugs or alcohol, reach out to your sponsor or a sober friend. If that doesn’t work, try to get to a 12-step meeting. Staying sober is always the top priority
Sober living is a great way to live in a peaceful, structured environment with others who have similar goals and challenges. If you’re looking for a sober living situation, or want to find out more about our programs, please call us at 760-216-2077.
Everyone in recovery has heard about the importance of willingness. When you first get clean and sober, you have to trust others and be willing to do whatever it takes. At first, it’s usually difficult to follow the suggestions of others, but as you stayed sober, you probably noticed that your recovery program was stronger.
Being willing to go to 12-step meetings, trust other people in recovery, and take suggestions are the bread and butter of your recovery program. Staying sober only happens one day at a time. Once the fog clears, however, living a life of willingness may become more difficult.
There are probably things you’re told you should do, but you don’t want to do them. In life, everyone pretty much has to go to the DMV. We all have bills to pay and jobs that we do. There are things that we perceive as downright unpleasant, such as having surgery or facing a fear. Being willing doesn’t always mean “doing things joyfully.” It means that you’re ready to do what you have to do.
The first thing you do in recovery is to to stop using and start listening to others. Just staying sober shows that you’re capable of working toward willingness. When a person first begins their recovery journey, they’re told to stay away from old friends and old situations. It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. When you think you can’t become willing to do something, try to remember all of the other changes you’ve made to get to where you are today.
You may not be willing today, but keep acting as if you are. Take the steps you need to take. The feeling of willingness might follow, or you may have to trudge every step of the way. Either way, you'll get stronger and willingness will come more naturally to you.
If you have a higher power, many people find that praying for willingness makes them feel more willing on a day to day business.
Growth only happens one day at a time. No one is perfect. Few people enter into a recovery program eager to delve into their emotions, the things they’ve done wrong, and the problems that they face. But thousands of people stick around anyway, knowing that they want to change and need help doing it.
If you’re going through something and struggling with willingness, remember to take it a day at a time. Do what you need to do. The feelings will follow, and you’ll have a stronger recovery program by sticking it out.
Many people decide that after treatment, they want to continue to live with additional supports in place. Whether you’re interested in living in a structured, supportive setting or attending aftercare as you adjust to everyday life, we’re here to help. Call us at 760-216-2077 for more information on our programs.
Mending relationships with your father or mother is a struggle for many people in recovery. You may have caused your parents a lot of pain when you were using drugs and alcohol. Or, you may have had a difficult childhood and now struggle to have an adult relationship with your family. Whatever the case may be, it’s up to you to begin working on your relationship in recovery.
No one has a perfect relationship with their family. It’s important to aim for progress, not perfection. You are powerless over other people’s actions. Beginning to heal these relationships is an essential step in life. But you must be willing to be open to disagreements now and then. Take your relationships a day at a time.
There are many things you can do to help improve your relationship with your family. When you get to the 4th, 5th, and 6th steps, you’ll fo some hard work looking at your deeds and flaws. Until then, small things make a big difference.
These are just a few ways that you can start rebuilding family relationships in recovery. Just remember that your life is your own. Time sometimes also becomes a significant part of the healing process. As you stay sober, you’ll make new and better memories that will help fade the hurt of some of the older memories.
By the Sea Recovery is a sober living home in San Diego. Our level of treatment services is top-notch and evidence-based. We offer a safe and therapeutic environment to help our clients take the next step in their recovery and learn to live in a safe, supportive, drug-free environment. Learn more about our programs by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Male bonding is something that’s usually portrayed in the media as living like a "tough guy.” Let’s face it; there are a lot of shows on television where men sit around, work on cars while swigging beer or heading on out to the bar. They say a sentence or two and then getting back to drinking.
Life isn’t very much like those portrayals, anyway. The world is diverse and full of people with a lot of different interests. You don’t need to drink to make friends or have closer relationships.
All that male bonding requires is having fun. In recovery, you’ll discover a lot about yourself, including new interests. A lot of guys return to interests they had before they started using drugs.
You might like to surf or ride your bike, for example. You may have been an amateur chef. Believe it or a not, a lot of people in 12-step rooms share similar interests with each other. In some areas, there are even running and marathon groups that have formed for people who are in recovery.
A lot of bonding goes on before meetings and after meetings. If you go to a meeting in the early evening, you’ll probably discover that there are people who like to go out for a few hours to dinner afterward. Or maybe you'll head over to eachother's homes to play video games.
So go ahead, make friends. It's not complicated.
Talking about yourself may seem a little awkward when you’re hanging out with guys you’ve just met. Getting to trust others and become close to them can take some time. As a person new to recovery, you may feel insecure and lonely. These feelings and thoughts will change over time. Male bonding takes time.
One of the first people you’ll learn to trust in recovery is your sponsor. It’s usually recommended by “old-timers” that you choose a sponsor that is your own sex. (If you’re straight; LGBT people may feel more comfortable with the opposite sex.) So you'll start to trust and confide in a male regularly pretty early in recovery. That's a big part of male bonding.
You'll need to tell your sponsor a lot of things about yourself. You'll work the steps with them, call them when you feel like drinking or drugging, and generally let them get to know you pretty ewell.
As you stay sober a more extended period, you’ll know people from meetings quite well. After all, you will all be sharing to each other regularly. You’ll find that when you’re with people you trust, it’s easier to hang out and bond. And that’s how people really bond, anyway; by being honest and being themselves.
Many people find that it's beneficial to start life after treatment by entering sober living arrangements. In sober housing, you'll live with other guys who have the same goals. You'll also have support and structure to rely on when you need it. Call us at 760-216-2077 to learn more.
The media in the world we live in perpetuates a lot of stereotypes. For as far back as many of us can remember, men have been portrayed as stoic and “tough”. As boys, you probably played a lot of pretend “alpha male” games such as cowboy, fireman, and other roles. While these roles are great in the movies, the role of man in society today is changing. Men can, and do, have emotions all of the time. Sometimes men suffer from mental health issues, too.
Talking about these types of issues can feel difficult at first, but now, more than ever, men (especially men in recovery!) are discovering that opening up about their mental health is important.
Even Prince Harry, in fact, recently opened up to talkl about his personal struggles after his mother’s death. He experienced long periods of both anxiety and rage. As a member of Englands’ royal family, he was provided with all the resources he needed to recover and learn to manage his emotions effectively.
A lot of your experiences with expressing emotions may have been limited by the family you grew up with. Some families discourage showing emotions or talking about feelings. If this is your family, think about how it has worked out for you.Talking to people about feelings can be scary, but in recovery, emotions happen whether you want them to or not. Learning to cope with feelings is a huge part of learning to live without the use of alcohol or drugs.
Many people in recovery also struggle with anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders. Talk therapy and other modes of self-care can help you learn to master your emotions and mental health symptoms.
Some people find that meditation helps them relax if they do it a few times a week. Exercise can also help boost endorphins, creating feel-good chemicals that combat depressive feelings.
The number one thing you can do if you’re struggling with emotions or mental health issues is ASK FOR HELP. No one can help you get better if you don’t tell them something is wrong. If you suspect you have a mental health disorder, ask friends or family to help you seek out a therapy provider or psychiatrist to help you with your symptoms.
You are worth it! If you are feeling lonely, down, depressed, or anxious, reach out to your support network. You’ll probably find somebody else has felt the same way you do and has suggestions.
Many people find that sober living situations help smooth the transition from treatment to their daily world. Many people just like you have sought comfort, hope and inspiration in our sober living environment as they rebuild their lives. Learn more about how you can live in our structured, support homes post-detox or rehab. Call us at 760-216-2077.
People coming from inpatient facilities often feel overwhelmed when returning to the “real world.” After all, treatment was a safe, quiet space where the addicted person was able to focus on their addiction, personal triggers, and other issues and learn to live without drugs and alcohol. Returning to everyday life can be jarring. Many people in recovery choose aftercare programs to help them adjust to their new life.
Aftercare, like recovery, is built to help meet your needs. You have choices that can help you continue the building blocks of recovery. These include:
Post-treatment life can be stressful and distracting from your recovery goals. Aftercare helps you continue to build new coping mechanisms. You’ll still be able to connect with peers, and you’ll be able to delve into deeper issues when the need arises.
Having a plan for staying sober after you finish your drug rehab is essential. You’ll need all the support you can get. Going to 12-step programs, working with a sponsor, and learning to live daily clean and sober are the bare essentials of continued growth in recovery. Other tools, like a sober living home, can give you the extra support you need as you start over in the world, free from alcohol and other drugs.
Sober living is a great way to focus on your recovery as you begin to reclaim your life after treatment. You’ll make new friends, learn more about yourself, and have the comfort of living in a safe and sober environment. Learn more about your options by giving us a call at 760-216-2077.
Addiction is a family disease and affects more people than the addicted person probably realizes. Friends, spouses, parents, and children all may have struggles related to their loved one’s addiction.
When a person gets clean, their families go through several emotions just like they do. There are also a lot of fears and unresolved feelings caused by the addiction that need to be resolved. Families can play a large part in the recovery of a person with a substance use disorder. At the same time, they probably have a lot of questions and concerns about their loved one’s recovery.
A person with an addiction needs to focus on themselves and their recovery. Making amends and gaining trust back can’t happen overnight, just like addiction didn’t happen at night. Family members can’t fix an addicted person, and an addicted person can’t fix their family.
If you’re somebody whose loved one is struggling with addiction and recovery; there are resources available. They may include:
If you’re a loved one of somebody in recovery, accept help when it’s offered. You are not alone, and you, too, are worthy of love and empathy. Make sure that you take time for yourself. You can’t help anyone else if you’re not also helping yourself.
After drug treatment, many people in recovery choose to transition to sober living homes. Living with other people who have the same goals can help quell your anxiety and gain confidence when you’re new to recovery. Learn more about your sober living options and how we can help by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Are you angry a lot of the time? Many people learn to react angrily to life on life’s terms because they haven’t developed alternative coping skills. Some people blame others for their anger and avoid taking control of it and learning how to cope with it. It can be a toxic emotion if you haven’t learned how to deal with it. Being always angry is also a symptom of depression. It’s hard to have the right attitude in recovery when everything in your head is negative.
If the above description reminds you of yourself, it’s time to shift your attitude. Just like anyone, you can change your attitude and learn to let go of anger.
Owning your anger is an important part of coping. It’s okay to feel your feelings, but you don’t have to act angry when you feel mad. “They make me angry” is something a lot of people tell themselves. Not everyone is a mind reader, and not everyone lives to do your bidding! If you’re angry, it’s because there’s some hurt inside of you.
You may be angry because your feelings were hurt, or because a situation reminds you of something in life that has happened before. Either way, the anger is yours and yours alone. Blaming others for your emotions isn’t healthy. Think about why you feel angry – what triggered you? Did you have a bad day? Were you frustrated because you were stuck in traffic? Did you feel embarrassed about something?
There is always emotion behind your anger, and much of the time, it’s something deep inside of you that you haven’t ever examined before.
Instead of telling somebody off, flying into a rage, or punching a wall, take ten minutes when you’re angry. Here are a few things to try next time you’re mad:
As you can see, there are a lot of easy ways to get “out of” your angry head and begin to cool off. When you’re less inflamed, you can start to examine the reasons for your anger and a better way to approach your anger next time you’re feeling it.
Remember that recovery is about progress, not perfection. It’s the little things that help you build new patterns and make changes. Try to let go of your anger one day at a time.
Recovery is a process, and many people like the idea of transitioning to the “real world” after treatment. Living with other people who have the same goals, in a safe and hopeful environment, can help you stay focused on yourself and your recovery. Learn more about your options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Choosing a sponsor is one of the most important things to do when you start on your recovery journey. While you’re in treatment, you’ll begin to connect with others in recovery. Selecting your sponsor can be challenging when you’re in a treatment environment. After all, you are usually limited by the AA and NA meetings you choose to attend.
The good news is that it’s not a big deal if you change sponsors. If you’ve outgrown your sponsor or have trouble getting ahold of them, it’s time to consider a new person.
Whether you’re choosing a sponsor for the first time or selecting a new one, here is some guidance for choosing a sponsor.
Choosing a sponsor can be scary at first. Opening up to others in recovery helps you change your life and begin healing. In recovery rooms, you’re often told to “take what you need and leave the rest.” If you don’t feel supported by your sponsor, or you think that you need to switch, don’t worry. People in recovery change sponsors for many reasons. Your recovery is about you and your own needs.
Sober living homes can be an important step in transitioning back to the “real world” after treatment. Living in a recovery home helps you focus on yourself and your recovery in a supportive environment.
Learn more about your options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
